A Great Customer Complaint

I understand that sometimes we mess up. If someone in my store messes up a pizza, I will go out of my way to make sure the problem is fixed. I've sent drivers to the far reaches of delivery zones with just a few packets of peppers.

   Now sometimes... people can get down right silly. The other night a gentleman called me. I  just happened to answer the phone. After going through our opening gibberish, he asks... "Where is my pizza." Now its a busy night. We quote around 30 to 35 min for delivery at slower times. I asked him his name so I could help him out. His response, "First tell me where my pizza is." At this point I know this will be fun. I end up getting his name. I notice it has been on the road for about 20 minutes. Alright that's just great. I let him know his pizza should be there any minute the driver left 20 min ago, they should be at your doorstep. His answer, "Well its late, I have hungry children I need to put in the bath and get ready for bed. What are you going to do to make me happy." Ok.... My first thought is why are your hungry children not bathed and fed at 10pm at night.... I didn't comment. I told him it should be there any minute I'll call the driver to see where she is. "I've already spoken with your driver, she can't find my house." To sum things up. when I refuse to give him a free pizza he wants my boss's name and number so that he can have me fired along with everyone else in the store. He uses very choice words. As soon as I hang up my driver calls. She says every time she talks to him he yells those choice words with her and hangs up.
   Now this is where things get funny. The next day i come in and mention it to my boss. She says he never called, go figure. A driver near by has a great idea. I will give it to you now.
   "Call up the customer. Ask them why they didn't call in in. Let them know that I didn't come to work because I didn't think i had a job, and now i have to deal with being late and playing catch up all day. Thanks a bunch."
   Just the thought of the look of anger on that inbred, stained wife-beater wearin redneck's face contorted in anger and confusion almost made me do it.